


The devil without a face

by KadLimibren



Category: 999: Nine Hours Nine Persons Nine Doors - Fandom, Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Empty, Gen, Monologue, Prosopagnosia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KadLimibren/pseuds/KadLimibren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of my first prompt after my long hiatus. A short work about Ace explaining his past and existence. I admit it is only here because I felt Ace was a tragic character. WATCH OUT FOR SPOILERS!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The devil without a face

The moment I was born, the world showed me a faint light that I couldn’t understand, as I went old enough to understand, I realized that the light I was seeing wasn’t here to enlight me.

My father was a doctor, actually a good one, the type to work late at night and even use his week end if a patient needed him. I think he was a good man, my mother was always afraid that his concern toward his job would make me feel lonely but the truth is that I never really felt anything.  
My mother was apparently a beautiful woman, having a brilliant career as a cadre in a good company, again, I never could really grasp if it was true or it was a lie hiding in the darkness.  
I was raised in what people would call a good family, and I honestly don’t think I can say I was unhappy when I lived with my parents.

Happy? I never got happy.  
A baby usually smile, my parents never understood why I couldn’t. Of course, I was too young to realize it wasn’t normal that the person holding me in the air with her delicate hands didn’t have a face. I certainly never realized that she was certainly smiling, at least I hope so.  
The warm feeling of my father hand was certainly followed by a smile, but to me, it was just a empty hand patting my head. Soon before I knew it, I became used to this darkness around me. It wasn’t like something I couldn’t know would be important, right?

 

My first disillusion came when I entered into school. Needless to say, I didn’t have any friends. I wasn’t particularly ugly or mean, I just never smiled. How could I when I never saw one in my life, and as many people know, a kid who doesn’t smile will rarely get a lot of friend. I didn’t really mind at first, I never felt connected to people and I just had to lie to my mother so she wouldn’t give me that worried tone when she talked to me. But ignoring a problem never create a solution, I was too young to realize the professor would explain my situation and that my futile attempt to hide my loneliness was useless.  
And even if I never felt bad for being alone, the truth was that I began to feel lonely. It was such a weird feeling, why would I want to be connected to these shadows? I wasn’t like them, I didn’t even feel as a part of this world but still, this feeling wouldn’t leave me. It was at that time that I decided to act like the people around me.  
  
As I watched the picture on the book and I tried to understand the big word, I began to practice my smile. Of course, my parents were the perfect guinea pig to find the good smile. Even if I couldn’t see their face, I could understand to the tone of their voice or their body language if a smile was good or not. And one day, I found the one. An expression that seemed to make people around me feel at easy while being easy for me to do. A feint smile while having my eyes closed. My eyes could betray my true emotions, or should I say my lack of them. And as I began to grow up, I succeeded to look like a normal boy.  
  
Well, as you can expect, things didn’t went perfectly. I was actually a very good student, since I had no interest in people and wished to understand my condition, I soon began to hang out with books more than my own family.  I never had any real friend, only classmate that looked at me like the typical ‘good student’ type. I never understood the young boys that wanted to date a girl, I never understood what empathy really was. My answer were only calculated according to my role, if someone needed help, I would do it because I had to a good person, if someone was angry at me, I would work to find a solution.  I never crossed the line in secondary school and things would have gone smoothly in high school if a certain event wouldn’t have happened.

  
As I didn’t feel connected to other people, the young me never realized what it could mean. How powerful he could be because of that. Lack of empathy isn’t necessary a curse, it could also become a strength.  
 One day, a thug tried to threat me so he could get my money. As usual, I tried to get a pacific solution but as the man began to be more and more violent, the situation became impossible to control and before I could realized it, the man tried to punch me. As I dodge his shot, I pushed him back and he fell in the stairs, landing on one of his legs and breaking it. As he was hurt, I first rushed next to him and realized that despite his pain and his imploring tone, I really didn’t feel anything.  
Nobody was here to watch him, and I realized it was the perfect opportunity to do some experiment. As I pressed my legs against his broken bones and heard his cries, I didn’t feel nothing. Only an empty heart answered to his supplication.

This day, I realized that I could be stronger than the shadows surrounding me. I just had to be ruthless and without pity when I needed it. The thug didn’t say anything to the doctor and the professor of our school after this episode, certainly too scared by the memories of my expressionless face as I was torturing him. To be honest, I didn’t especially enjoy it either. I just felt nothing toward him, for me, he was the same as a rock.

The rest of my studies went smoothly, I easily got my licence and my new discover made me able to take any opportunity possible if it could give me some profits. I was trying to survive in the darkness, and so far, I can say I almost always achieved the taste of victory. And it was true until I created my own company. Cradle pharmaceutical was only a tool for me so I could finally cure my disease, I knew how to easily got money and I can say that I had the luck to encounter some brilliant mind that accepted to work for me. Truth be told, if I didn’t feel anything particular toward them, I would still appreciate their capacity and their enthusiasm toward my project.  
  
When I discovered the morphogenetic field, I understood that it was my only true salvation. As I failed to find an antidote, I began to feel like my whole life would stay empty. Alone, trapped in the darkness. As much difficulty as I could have to find how to activate the field, I knew it wasn’t impossible for me. But soon, I realized that I lacked of two important factor: The money and the capacity to connect to the field.  
  
  
Funny enough, the first one gave me the answer for the second. When I was kidnapped by Free the Soul to play their nonary game, I didn’t feel anything toward my opponent and even toward my kidnappers. As I survived and let the other player die, I only saw the key, the potential behind this game: the perfect scenario to activate the morphogenetic field. But I also knew that I would need more money than my company could afford, luckily enough, as powerful as their society was, it didn’t mean I couldn’t trick them. Promising to create a better nonary game, I got the ship and and even some financial support. Everything was going perfectly.

I just needed special people, people that could connect to the field and being able to transfer the information toward other people. I knew that if I could create a really strong morphogenetic field, I would have all the data to find how to connect someone like myself on it. And finally… I would be connected.

As my dream was not so far from my hands, I began my plan. Creating the game, creating all of the riddles, elaboring a situation that would put the participants in constant fear of death and of course, the final situation. Everything was perfect, the incinerator would be the ultimate stimulus and I was sure of its success. If the children would succeed to come this far, this moment would be a simple task for them. I just needed to find them and then…

And then…

Everything went wrong.

This stupid cop… Theses stupid kids… And this stupid mistake…  
I never cared for theses childrens, I won’t lie about that but at that time, it wasn’t a matter of not being able to see their faces. She was crying, saying she was afraid but what could she understand? She had the power to access to the field, of course she wouldn’t die. Why would I care? My dream was just one meter away from me, how could I care for a stupid brat?!

Did she ever wake up to see a world full of blank faces? Did she ever realize that her mother was the same as a stranger to her? Did she ever felt lonely? Did she have a life where the whole world is wrapped in a dark mist?  
Of course I never cared… She was a stranger. Even as she screamed, she was a stranger. I had no connection and even if I learned during my life that what I was doing was wrong, I didn’t cared. This empty world was a prison and the field was my key to freedom.  
  
And… I lost it.

Nothing happened. Only the hard feeling of failure and an empty hole craving into my stomach. My heart was still empty, the world was still dark and now, I had to cover up for this mess while knowing I certainly wasted my best chance. Nobody would come to save me, I was the only one able to beat this world and I let him win.  
Why did it fail…  
  
Was I born only to be judged by an unknown god, sentenced to live in hell for a crime I didn’t even commit as I was a child? Or maybe this world was just a pathetic piece of junk, as empty as me… Maybe this world and the peoples inside it were just as empty as me and I shouldn’t care for them anymore… But again.

It was an answer which I would never get to see the face.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a 'bad' pun, "The devil without a face" normally should refer to Ace as he hide his true self but it is also directed toward Akane as she is the 'devil' that destroyed his plan two time in a row and he could never get to see the face of the woman that did everything to destroy him.


End file.
